Half a Room, Half a Home: When Roommates Don’t Work Out

Sam Lubar ’28
lubarspa@lakeforest.edu
JOUR 320 Writer

Eight chairs lined up in the skybox, two feet of space in the middle, then another eight chairs, only nine were occupied by students. They were eyeing each other with cautious optimism. It was an intimate gathering for those still searching for a roommate—just two days before housing selections at Lake Forest College began.  

“I’m in desperate need of a roommate,” said one student at the third and final roommate matching event in the third week of April. 

“I wouldn’t want to room with a close friend. It poses too many problems,” said another. 

Attendees were asked basic questions that reflected their living styles, passions, and roommate pet peeves, hoping to leave with a match.The stakes are high. In a two-person dorm, each side of the room typically reflects the student’s identity: two beds topped with a carefully chosen comforter and blankets, two desks cluttered (or tidy) with school supplies and homework, and two personalities dividing the room in half.  

However, for Juliette Ndao, only one side of the room remained customized, the other stood bland and empty, her former roommate had moved out during the first semester. 

“It felt like I was not welcome in my own room,” said Ndao, an 18-year-old freshman whose eyes reflected the weight of a difficult first-year experience. “She would make me feel like a stranger. I had to knock on the door before coming in.”  

Ndao is not alone.  

According to Student Health Services, roughly one in three college students struggle with their roommates. At Lake Forest, room changes happen each year, though Residence Life did not know the exact number. 

“It’s expected that we will always have people wanting to move,” said Residence Life Director Bonny Sucherman. 

But options are limited. Sucherman explained that the process of switching to a new room involves multiple steps. First, students need to meet with their resident attending (RA). If the issue persists, they can pursue mediation through an unbiased third party. Only if those steps fail will Residence Life step in to arrange a room change. 

“If it’s a health or safety concern, we’re going to move them,” Sucherman said. “We hold emergency spaces for purposes like that.” 

After the school year starts, however, finding an open room becomes significantly harder. Of the 243 singles available at Lake Forest College, 53 are reserved for the RAs. The remaining 190 are largely taken by students with accommodations, leaving very few for emergency use.  

No singles remain for the standard housing selection process, according to Sucherman. 

The other rooms available consist of 87 adjoined doubles, 224 doubles, 12 quads, 56 suites, and 16 triples. 

“When we started to get feedback from students that going into room selection was often a very stressful process, we started to introduce roommate matching events,”  Sucherman said. 

The school started with one event, and due to positive feedback, increased the number to three this year. It’s set up like speed dating with tables and chairs facing each other and a time limit. Still, not every roommate pairing works out. 

Gianna Blasco, a 19-year-old sophomore, learned this the hard way. After her freshman year, she chose to room with her male best friend. Yet, it did not go as she had planned. 

“I just feel like I was suffocating in that room and that space with him,” said Blasco, adding that her roommate threw a party in their room while she grieved the loss of a family member.  

“I ended up having to have a huge conversation with him when I moved out mid-semester,” Blasco said. 

Blasco commuted from home until she was placed with a new roommate for the spring semester.  

“It’s awkward [living with a best friend] because he expects me to come home,  and it’s not that I’m coming home to my roommate, it’s that I’m coming home to my best friend, so I should be socializing,” she said, feeling much better with a random roommate this semester. 

Not everyone is meant to be roommates, and college officials say they are still learning how to best support those who struggle. 

For her part, Ndo says she doesn’t harbor any ill will towards her former roommate.  

“For whatever the reason why she left is, I wish her all the best,” said Ndao, smiling softly. “But I feel kind of free now.”